I see a lot of movies. Mostly that's because I work from home and I need things to do and I have MoviePass, which is the best $30 a month you'll ever spend if you see more than one movie a month. If you don't see more than one movie a month, don't buy it, as you are being scammed. But for people like me, who see upwards of 8 each month on a regular basis? I'm the one doing the scamming. Take THAT, MoviePass!
Anyway, because I see a lot of movies, I'm going to start providing you with a semi-regular guide to films I think you should check out or avoid.
Trainwreck: Because I live under a rock, this is quite literally the first thing I've ever seen Amy Schumer do. Turns out, the woman is hilarious, and this is the funniest movie since Bridesmaids. If you didn't like Bridesmaids, well, stop reading right now. We clearly have nothing in common, and you also hate fun.
Trainwreck is side-splittingly funny while also being awkward as hell. But the real gem of the movie? Lebron James, who as it turns out may have something of an acting career ahead of him, especially as a dry and sarcastic funnyman.
Score: 8 out of 10
Vacation: Remember earlier, in the last paragraph, when I said that Trainwreck was hilarious? Vacation is the opposite of that. Vacation surmises to be an extension of the old National Lampoon vacation movies, with one major difference: they were funny and this one is not.
Score: 2 out of 10
Southpaw: This is a good movie, but it will also make you depressed. Because that is what Kurt Sutter (writer of Sons of Anarchy) specializes in: mayhem and the kind of gut-wrenching, too-close-to-home drama that may leave you with a few tears, but also leaves you just feeling bad about yourself.
Score: 6 out of 10
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation: I did not realize I still had the capacity to enjoy Tom Cruise. Turns out, I was wrong. This is a fantastic action movie and one anyone will enjoy, though it is a tad long. This is the best of the Mission Impossible flicks, which is saying something when you consider that the series felt as though it were on life support just a few years ago.
Score: 6 out of 10
The Gift: I hate scary movies. This one scared the bejesus out of me. So, in that way, I suppose it is a success.
Score: 5 out of 10
Fantastic Four: The less said about this one, the better. This is the worst comic book movie in quite some time. Somebody needs to figure out a way to steal the rights to this one back from Sony and give them to Marvel, where they belong.
Score: 2 out of 10
Ant Man: From the crap heap that was Fantastic Four to Ant Man is quite the leap in quality. If you saw the Ant Man trailers, you might've thought it looked stupid or cheesy. And it is a bit of both, to be fair. But it also has a ton of heart—actually, the movie is ALL heart—and it's an absolute joy to watch.
Score: 7 out of 10
What do you think?