This Halliburton Vintage Carry-On is So Awesome

I have this pretty crappy piece of luggage made by Samsonite, which I thought was a good brand but really is just a value brand with a name that makes it sound tough. I guess I should've known, since it's a giant suitcase and I bought the thing at HomeGoods for like $70. What do you mean, $70 won't get me a decent suitcase?

Thankfully, I don't have to travel as much as I used to, because otherwise this thing would be falling apart and my unders would be strewn all over various airports, and not for good reason. Nobody wants that.

No, if I started traveling hard the way I used to, gallivanting around the world without a care, I'd definitely look for a major upgrade in the suitcase department. That's not to say I would buy this $1,200 bad boy masterpiece from Halliburton, because are you crazy, it's $1,200! But I'd want something along these lines, for sure, and if I were a rich man, this Halliburton would be mine.

For starters, just look at this thing. It's gorgeous. It has a vintage design, but with a ton of modern amenities. It's made of the incredibly durable Hailburton aluminum, four wheels on the bottom that are guaranteed to not break off (because that's the worst thing about cheap suitcases, is having a gimpy three-wheel suitcase and everyone looks at you with pity in their eyes) and reliable TSA-approved bolt locks to keep your stuff safe and secure.

Seriously, this is the only luggage you'll ever need.

What do you think?